Dear Person at the Fray Concert:
Sit down when people behind you are sitting. Now, I know that tight french braid you have with the scrunchy on the end took you awhile, and you were feeling pretty spiffy 20+ years ago when you were at the Billy Joel concert wearing the very same scrunchy, but that is not the free ticket to stand in front of us. Your husband sat nicely and he could see fine. Did you note that you were on a little bit of a hill, so it's kind of stadium seating......
Girl in the green knit halter top. Marry that boy next to you. Without hesitation he asked the two teenagers behind you to take a picture you two. That is adorable. He will undoubtedly capture many important events in your life. And the way you kind of leaned your hip into his and he yours? Too cute. Seriously, marry him.
Hairy overweight dude. Please do not take your shirt off like that again. I know it was really sunny out and you were warm. Drinking a lot of beer makes you even more sweaty. Trust me, I saw the beads of sweat around your body carpet. Thank you, though, for reminding me that Hard Rock Cafe's are still in existance. I had kind of forgotten about them and seeing your tank top with deep armholes reminded me of a fond afternoon in SF when I was 13.
Pretty swedish looking woman with the great haircut, I hope you enjoyed the concert. I think your spouse would have rather been at a Jimmy Buffett concert so thank him for taking you. Actually, did you even tell him that you were in fact, not at a Jimmy Buffett concert? His polo shirt with the really big margarita glasses all over it was a dead give away. By the way, your hair looked fantastic.
Little girl in the brand new red Fray t-shirt. Thank god you got that shirt in time to make it back to the front of the crowd. You and your friend were darling up on that stage. Truly, the way you jumped up and down with the tamborine and grinned...well let's just say you were a portrait of cuteness and happiness. I hope your mom got a picture of you up there. Keep having fun!
All the 13 year old girls please do not think that it is cool to wear uber short shorts, pumps, and run around slirring your speech and spilling bits of expensive beer on people. Frankly it is gross. So stay sweet and kind of awkward.