Monday, April 7, 2008

Faster Than the Speed of Light

aka "Thank you for feeding into my PMS, Tri-Met Bus Driver."
Dear hairy driver of bus #75, thank you so much for the 10seconds of anger, followed by a passivist version of a car chase. Seriously, when you blew by me and went through the red light, just to get ahead of ALL the cars lined up did you feel better? Did your boy parts, which are obviously inadequate, get the charge they needed? Well mister, I got a charge too. The way you did that move, which was stupid, made my PMS surface. I had kept it in check all day. ALL DAY! Thankfully I did not have my foot riding the gas pedal, ready to take off, because we would have skimmed each other. Knowing the company you work for, your hind end would have been off scott free and you know this. You most likely did not notice that I continued to follow you...wait, all 22 cars were forced to follow you because you stop about every block......just to find the opportunity to give you the bird. Now, I tell you that I feel quite adequate about myself but it would have really been satisfying to give you mama stink-eye with a nice, firm bird. Lucky for you there was an equally annoying mini-van driving so slow, that getting anywhere near your little driver window was slim so I could only send you muddy mama mojo. I hope you felt it as you drove your bus along the line. In fact, you have a really outdated advertisement on the side of that bus. So there Mister Hairy Bus Driver.

p.s. Mister Hairy Bus Driver, you are also lucky because I know someone that rides that line and she may pay her fare in pennies real soon. REAL SOON, pal.

I am ducking and running now, there is a hershey bar with almonds in the freezer.

1 comment:

The Biles said...

Seriously, you are too funny. You make me laugh. Love the mama stink-eye. =)